Thern has been out of town for a week and last night I found myself desperately in need of prayer. I was on the phone with my Thern, sobbing. I was filled with fear, confusion, doubts, and sorrows. I realized that a situation I’ve been praying about was truly out of my control. I may never see justice. I may never be reconciled. I may never experience peace. The truth may not prevail. The open door for me to share my concerns may have just been closed to me. At least those were all my anxious thoughts. I’m not one to be less than transparent so I asked everyone I could think of to pray. I don’t remember a time or day when I have ever felt my absolute human weakness and a need for dependence on God to rescue my heart and mind than I did last night.
Many of you called, texted, sent notes, and messaged me to remind me what my mind and heart could not remember. God is for me and if this is true, who can be against me? Not only that, he has given me a way of escape to experience his peace. I can lean on him for understanding. He is my refuge and rock, my salvation! I can trust him to do his good will in this situation and all situations.
This morning, I woke up aware that God is indeed on the move. My friend and colleague, Phillip Bethancourt, said to me during a podcast interview: “What if the one thing you are asking Jesus to take away is the one thing he is using to conform you to Christ.” Yep. I get it. I’m currently writing a book on enduring in the faith. There’s no wonder that I’m learning how to endure.
Thank you all for your prayers. I believe the Lord used them and I’m confident that he will use them in greater ways in the future. Let’s keep praying! God is good and near to the brokenhearted. I’m confident that God is working such good in this and me as I learn to trust him with the unknown.
p.s. Thern gets back today! 🙂 We are thrilled!